Friday, March 1, 2013

Hair & Change & Insecurity

"She'd only loved two things. The first was her long, dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing." - 500 Days of Summer

Today's adventure was chopping off my hair. I say adventure although it is an adventure I embark on every year or at least every other year. I love when I have grown it out long and I can do crazy things with it, but most of all I love growing it out to chop it off. Most girls have experienced the feeling of reinventing themselves through their hair. It is such a wonderful process in womanhood. Unlike, Summer in the movie, we always feel when we get a hair cut; we feel upset at a tragic one or beautiful after a great one. No matter how silly it may sound to a man, our hair feeds us so much of our identity. 
Many of you do not know that I have been diagnosed with signs of early hair loss. Two years ago, I went to a doctor to find out why my hair was thinning. My blood, thyroid and stress levels were tested, and it was said that there was nothing I could do to reverse the process. I still pray often that God would be merciful to me, since I get so much joy out of my hair. Needless to say, this process has made me appreciate my hair all the more. It has made me thankful for the moments I have with my hair. Today, I loved holding the wet hair in my left hand and taking the scissor to it in my right. On Valentines, I loved curling it special. On the honeymoon, I remember Matt complaining about how long I spent doing my hair. These are treasured moments. 
We are all given little battles and big battles in life. This is one of my little battles. For two years, I have carried this embarrassment  and shame. In all reality, we are all carrying these little battles-- as we all want to be the ideal woman. You might be waxing your upper lip or wearing shirts that make your boobs look bigger or smiling with your mouth closed because you don't like your teeth or constantly going to the bathroom to re-apply make up... or (this might be the winner) taking ten "selfies" until you get one you like enough to post. 
Ladies, we are all in this together. Rather than tearing one another apart when we learn each other's beauty secrets, take the high road. Commend your sister for their vulnerability. Encourage them and point out their beauty. You have the power of life in your hands, and you also have the opportunity to be free. Release the insecurity. Share your feelings of failure. Be brave. Stand firm in who you are. And stop comparing yourself to an ideal woman. You are beautiful. 

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